I was just watching the VMA’s.
Kanye is out of control!
blob whatever i screamed when taylor won. out of sheer happiness.
p.s. i loved russel brand before you hehe
haha we were shopping and then there was a bra in the boys section and he’s like that shouldnt be here and i was all well it could be a bra for boys like kramer and skyler’s like haha the bro
haha
Kiss de girl lol
so anyway. in all reality, that title couldn’t really be anymore wrong.
well actually, that title means nothing. what it IMPLIES, however. that is what is wrong.
because i literally have no love life at the moment.
yes, that’s right, the PRIME OF MY LIFE (well practically. not really. never mind) and i’m bored.
you know.
i guess it’s to be expected of a high school senior who is ALONE. lol
way to be dramatic. well we can all cling onto the hope of tomorrow. and even if college life doesn’t find me a guy, then that just must be the plan God has for me.
so. i should pretty much calm down.
also, i’m applying to college and it’s way to stressful. no me gusta. no no no no no me gusta.
Senior year.
um yay….no…yay…no…
mixed emotions if that wasn’t clear.
sighh.
i was blessed to have the job and all (especially when so many can’t find work) but boy i can’t lie. i’m not going to miss it.
working at a camp is cool. seriously. it’s better then most jobs i could get, and it fits my seasonal availability. but tomorrow is my last day and yay!! my season ends sooner then most peoples but i didn’t do it for money. money is the root of all evil…i definitely held that knowledge close to my heart this summer.
i loved reading my bible at work, being around Christians all day, and laughing at everyone’s jokes. i loved feeling awkward because the manager Cherissa thought i had a crush on Oliver, i loved the food, i loved K-love, i loved the names everyone had and knew for the camp trucks (“the mule” “the suburban” i mean like how many suburbans are out there and they single that one out…haha), i loved the monster hill up to the office, i loved making coffee, i loved tasting coffee and hating it (well i actually didn’t love that bit), i loved a lot of it.
there were good things about it.
i’m going to miss those people, and except the few that go to my high school, i know i probably wont see them after everyone’s season ends. but that’s life, at least i get to see them all in heaven. 
anyway, work ends tomorrow, and then i have no excuse but the get on task and start my history summer assignments. joy!
Weirdness is happening
trickling down
dropped on my cheek
occuring here,…just like now
weirdness like fire,
and it isn’t kind
isn’t lovable. funny.
…light hearted, or mine.
it’s the kind of weirdness
like awfulness, stirred
stirred in around me
and heated to serve
explain it
when words come out of you first
uptight and leveled but
that’s how we burn.
Just some …there are so many
Tunnel -Third Day
I Can Only Imagine- MercyMe
Lost Get Found-Britt Nicole
Now is the time to worship -craig dean and phillips
Million Pieces -Newsboys
Every Time I fall -Jaci Velasquez
Word of God Speak -MercyMe
Joy -Newsboys
Revelation -Third Day
More -Matthew West
Awesome God -Rick Mullens
Strong Tower -Kutless
He’s my son -Mark shust?? idk
Voice of Truth-Casting Crowns
Hold my Heart -Tenth Ave North
Love is Here -Tenth Ave North
Your Love Oh Lord -Third Day
klove.com/listen is a great spot to go
I’d LOVE IT if you would add your favorites!
…one light, that’s all i am
right now i can barely stand
if you’re everything you say you are, would you,
come close, and hold my heart…
-”Hold My Heart” Tenth Avenue North
isn’t this song amazing? God is always with us, hearing our voice amongst a “sea of pain”. everything about Him constantly shows me His majesty. glory glory glory, be to God.
i love this song.
Goodness WHY am i in such constant FAIL mode?? praise the lord!
That’s the new thing a cowboy ole man taught me at the camp i work at. when life gets you down, praise the lord! and then life feels a lot better, knowing this has a plan sewn in it. and wouldn’t you know it, i just laugh now when annoying things happen.
but seriously, i’m such a terrible employee. the other day, i dropped the entire drawer with all the money in it that pops out of the register TWICE. dude. i had to give three people in line change from the FLOOR. and then my MANAGER walked in.
and then i closed up at seven and the office was closed so i put all the money in an envelope and slid it under the door, knowing this was probably not the brightest idea. but what was i supposed to do?
and today i left without “checking out” which is actually such crap, because i was there for a CPR class which finished early, so i left early. like, idk. seems kinda like a duh thing to me. but i guess i should have told somebody.
zing.
and boy, some people don’t waste time! half the people there like that are married or engaged. i’m christian too, but i really don’t think i’m going to get married any time soon.
thus ended the season of greek, my favorite show of all time…
but what if it were the end of the world? i mean, it’s not ending tomorrow, Dale’s right, there would be signs. but that doesn’t mean i might not die…like, fall in a manhole, or something.
and what would i do? who would i pick? and in real life…not greek land.
not like i have choices like all these people in the show do. yet.
but i’m wondering, what if i die before “true love”? because i was watching princess bride today (what a bleak life this makes me appear to lead) and the dude was like “do you think true love happens every day?”
well, maybe it does.
but more likely it doesn’t.
people don’t really wait for true love. maybe true love between people doesn’t exist.
but i’m a sucker. i am. i am a sucker for love, and i believe there are soulmates.
you let yourself fall for them, or you don’t.
and with my (be it short as of today) life, i don’t know if i have found any of mine. save maybe one guy who had quite the case of unreciprication.
and fine, i’m seventeen, i don’t have to have experienced the world yet.
and fine, i shouldn’t have just said how old i am on the internet, but nobody reads my blogs anyway.
but this guy…the only guy who could walk into a room and say a simple word and to me, that word could mean a thousand different things. the only guy who i could like so much, but be totally wrong for me. in the end, i’m blessed he didn’t like me back. i mean, sad. but better off.
what if the person i’m meant to be with is in Texas? Canada? Saudi Arabia? and i don’t wait for him. and i let myself believe that i should settle because nobody out there could ever be all that i want, and still want me.
well God delivers. and i’ll wait for my saudi arabian man.
or maybe, he’s right next door, and i don’t have to wait.
or maybe, love like that isn’t what i hope it is.
but i’ll never stop hoping, dreams aren’t all bad.
mariah says my standards are way too high. way to high. i made the mistake of saying i’d never marry a mormon (what i met was, i don’t want to marry someone of a different faith). and that caused a stir.
but that is a standard. he will know God, he will believe the bible and he will act, not just speak. but that is not my only standard. i really do have a lot.
but if i’m going to be allowed love in this life, if i get that chance, then i am going to grab those reigns and i am going to go somewhere. and he will be shown to me. why not make it the best it can be?
and if it were the end of the world, i wouldn’t go to someone like cappy or max. because right now i don’t have anyone like them. right now i have friends. and i have friends who are in love. and i have family. and i have family who are in love. what have i got? God! and that is 100% perfectly fine with me.
it’s the end of the world…and by the way, cappy should so go with casey. just saying.
