And it’s that kind of rhyme
and I slip
off my chair.
Because everything I needed to hear was right there.
And it’s caught in my ears now
it’s caught in my head
it’s stolen the flattered heart,
those alive words you said =]
WELL LIS/TEN/ It’s just one of those things I need to [deal.with.] //could say it silent. could say it loud—don’t make a difference, when one’s the crowd. -This is me when I MISS/HIM. heat beats for me to listen. could act stronger, could just pretend—it’s not that hard to not press send- But love prefers to [kiss.him.] even hate knows that I miss him…so crawl then walk, walk then fly, say my name when they ask why.
It’s the backdrop of
disaster, elements breaking
going faster.
can’t hardly walk
lies growing louder
can’t cover my ears to all that power.
And if she moves
she’ll lose the house and
where are we?
in different towns? now,
Lord what is this?
It’s hard to follow.
my thoughts keep rolling
my heart too hollow
torn in circles
I can’t convey that
can’t take a side
but I can’t say that.
You know, I never thought I would get mono. Actually, I thought I would be the last person ever to get mono. After every other single person in the world had mono, then maybe I’d get mono. That’s what I thought. Hmm…
And I’m not entirely sure why that was my thinking anyway. I’ve had strep loads of times. My throat swells in pain every year at least once or twice from some infection or another. I catch colds and flus and various other sicknesses as much as the next person. So why not mono?
I do not drink after people, eat after people, I don’t really even like to touch door knobs. I don’t kiss people. That used to be the picture of me. But recently, since you know, I fell in love and everything, that has changed. In any case, I guess as fate would have it, mono creeped into my life.
It started with swollen lymph nodes. I noticed them right away. How can you not notice them? It’s like there was a pole in my neck. But everybody I asked to feel it didn’t feel anything. Which led me to believe I was crazy. My mom just thought I needed sleep. So did Justin. My father, the doctor, told me it was allergies. My friends all told me it was stress.
And so, I didn’t do a darn thing about it. I left for college and cried like a little girl ’cause leaving Justin six hours north was obviously not an easy thing to do. Got to my dorm, unpacked, felt tired, unpacked, went to sleep.
Weird things started to happen. Food just stopped looking good. I felt this general, kind of vague sickness most of the time. And I started to get fevers. The swollen neck thing was really noticeable now…I got a random bloody nose one morning but I figured that must be the allergies…
So I took IBprofin and dealt with whatever it was.
But it didn’t last long. I would sit in class and just want to cry. It was just so confusing. I’ve been sick loads of times and this one was just different. So I skipped chapel and went to see the nurse.
Who I cried in front of. Who sent me to the doctor. Who I sort of kept it together around, until he told me it was probably mono, and so then I preceded to cry in front of him too. That one was actually kind of awkward.
Anyway, I’ve been told not to go to class til monday, so I’m missing a TON of class. Which I don’t like. But I’m just really praying two things: Please Lord, let Justin not get it from me, and Please Lord, let my throat not hurt too bad.
But He knows it’ll make me stronger!
“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others, at whatever cost.” -Arthur Ashe
whats life if not an opportunity to love, and to serve…
“‘Cause I love you and…I don’t have to hide it anymore.”
=]
And throughout everything, Jesus was faithful.
and throughout everything, Jesus is always faithful.
I wonder if God rewatches things in slow motion..
Or if the wind is the music that He plays…
I wonder what amount of ocean waves looks like fire to Him.
And I wonder how many angels are in our midst.
You know what’s a compliment? To be somebody’s hiding place. To be the person who can make the other feel safe and loved. And when it seems like everything in life is overwhelming to that person, they run to you…and you being there calms their storm. And in that love, they get to hide a little from the world.
That’s what it’s like with him.
And it makes me think of our Almighty God, and how His hand, even His very Word, created everything in existence, every star, every chromosome and every particle of light, yet our affection for Him is what He desires. That pure love. And how it’s a compliment to Him, and how we trust Him, when He is our hiding place. When we can run to His extravagant love. And He can truly keep us safe.
I love You Jesus.
TODAY!
has a purpose. it totally does. I’m sitting here, all the while out there people are scrambling about worrying about this thing or the next. about the bills, about the kids, about how exactly something is going to fall into place when it really seems like there is nothing else they can do.
yeah.
today is a worry day.
and everyday, is a worry day.
but i’m not worried. at least not right now. because Jesus gives out peace that the world can’t give. and today has a purpose, because of Him. Time to get off my bed and figure out what it is. (:
well, one thing’s
for sure:
I can look at pictures of him again
that’s a relief (:
now,
i can write sweet things to him
that he’ll maybe even
believe =]
that he’s
kind of got this heart
that makes mine
go crazy…
kinda got the eyes
that make mine
go dizzy
he’s even got the words
that make it fine
to be cheesy :{D
and i’m so glad
his hand’s in mine
and we waited for
this sand of time.
’cause now that God has moved the clouds
I see the noise
that’s been so loud…
and underneath
that big white shield
God had this plan
that’s been revealed.
and I still melt
when his eyes meet mine
melt like honey
sweet inside…
when he says things
and I don’t doubt him
when he warms my hands
’cause they’re cold without him…
when he’s looking at me
before I noticed
how he waits to say love,
but still finds ways to show it…
how I’m still his best friend
even now that it’s changed,
how he’s tired or busy
but still wants me to stay.
and his arms, when they hold me
it’s like…i need no clock
in such a daze after
that I need focus to walk
’cause i could stay there forever
without missing a beat
when i run my hands through his hair
and he almost falls asleep…
that’s what gets me the most
that expression on his face
his name is justin, i love him,
a million ways (:
wow that’s so cheesy haha
“Whatever you do, find the God-centered, Christ-exalting, bible-saturated passion of your life, and find a way to say it, and live for it, and die for it. And you will make a difference that lasts. And you will not waste your life.” -John Piper
